Higgy's Challenge:
by Dreamer-in-the-dark
Summary: A challenge set by Higgy. It's very crappy because I was in a really weird mood. And the ending is rubbish. But if you're feeling mad enough, it's funny... :)


Hey everyone... This is NOT something I normally do... so... it's rubbish. But it's based on Higgy's challenge which was...

Characters must include: Angel, Spike, Xander and one other person from the Buffyverse of your choice.  
  
Objects:  
  
1. A half eaten candy bar  
2. A tub of peanut butter  
3. A reclining chair  
4. A piece of black tissue paper  
5. A rubber duck  
6. A paper shredder  
7. A black baseball cap  
8. A balloon pump**  
**  
Must be in someone's apartment  
Someone must slide into the kitchen wearing nothing but a pair of socks  
Someone must get hit in the face by a pair of boxers

Lines:  
  
1. First line. "Yummy."  
2. Last line. "'S very...chocolaty."**  
**3. Line somewhere. "It tastes kinda funky. Not the bad kinda funky. Funky like a disco."**  
**4. Another line. "Take that out of there now young man!"**  
**5. Yet another line. "That was not supposed to happen..."  
6. In Scottish accent. "There's a wee moose in there corner!"

any additional features...  
  
1. "No I'm not going to catch you!"  
2. Someone being scared of clowns.  
3. Someone doing a busted jump.**  
**4. A burping contest.**  
**5. A cheesy wotsit in the sofa.

########

"Yummy." 

"What is?"

"Peanut butter and candy."

"No it's not."

"Yes it is!"

"It's disgusting."

"You've never tried it!"

"I have."

"Oh yeah? When?" Spike tilted his chair back, even though it was big and heavy, he still managed to get it tilted back onto two legs.

"You know that thing reclines don't you?" Xander said conversationally.

"No way!" Spike's face lit up like a light bulb and he pulled the lever that made the chair go back. "Wow!" He did it again and again, up and down up and down until Xander felt dizzy.

"Stop it."

Spike got up and wandered around, feeding paper through the paper shredder until it annoyed Xander some more and he snapped at Spike.

"Can't you keep still for one minute?"

"I'm bored! Your apartment is boring."

"I got a new video game if you wanna play it?"

"Yeah?" The two of them headed over to the sofa in front of the tv where Xander set up his video game and they sat down waiting for it to load up.

"Um, Xander?" Spike said slowly, "why is there black tissue paper on the sofa?"

Xander suddenly flushed. "Oh! I thought I got rid of that... He hurriedly pushed it out of sight. "Is there anymore?" he dug through the sofa and came out with no more tissue paper, but a mouldy cheesy wotsit. "Ew! Who put that there?"

Spike grinned. "Well seeing as how it's your apartment, I would guess you, mate."

Suddenly there was a loud burst of music from the tv set and the wotsit was forgotten. A large clown appeared on the screen and Spike jumped off his seat. "Gah! What the – wha-!" the clown started to dance and Spike backed away. "What bloody idiot would put a clown at the beginning of a video game!"

Xander fought to control his laughter. "The game's called 'clown wars 3', what do you expect!"

"I think I need some blood." Spike said weakly, and Xander followed him into the kitchen.

That was when Angel slid in from the bedroom with only a pair of socks on. Spike looked on appreciatively while Xander positively screamed and covered his eyes.

"Angel man, get some clothes on PLEASE!!!" He grabbed the pair of boxers standing by the washer and threw them towards Angel. But, because he had his eyes covered, they flung towards Spike who was still smirking at Angel, hitting him across the nose.

"OW!" yelled Spike, even though it hadn't hurt at all, it was just annoying. He grabbed the boxers again and whacked Xander with them.

"Hey!" Angel stepped forward and took the boxers off them with a scowl. "I thought you two were going out?"

"Well we were, but Xander here decided not to."

"Now get some clothes on Angel, please?" Xander asked pathetically, not knowing quite where to look.

"Ok, ok I'm going," Angel said, disappearing into the bedroom again.

"What was that all about?" Xander asked Spike worriedly.

"He only sleeps in his socks." Spike said, as if that explained everything, once again getting bored and picking up a rubber duck. "Hey! Cute!" he played with it a little bit, diving it into the sink and making it squirt water at Xander.

"How do you do that!?" Xander said, "I can never make it squirt water!"

Spike smirked. "It's easy enough. You just have to..." Spike squished the rubber duck into an unnatural shape and held it up for Xander to see. "And then the water goes in here and..." the rubber duck, which had been stretched so that it closely resembled a duck that had been run over, suddenly slipped out of Spike's grip and flew across the kitchen, hitting the bottle of ketchup which was, unfortunately, open. It fell from the shelf and landed upside down on Angel's black baseball cap. Spike froze. Angel loved that cap. He never even wore it in case it got damaged. Blood red ketchup oozed from the open top of the bottle onto the baseball cap.

"That was not supposed to happen..." Spike said, still not moving. Xander took a tentative step forward towards the cap.

"Do you think it'll wash off?"

"Maybe." Spike looked scared. "If he throws me off the top of a high building, will you catch me?"

"No I'm not going to catch you! You can die for all I care."

"Fine!" Spike looked worriedly back at the cap. "Maybe if I just put it in the water..." he picked it up and dunked it in the sink full of water.

"Get that out of there now young man!" came a thundering voice from behind him. Spike jumped and spun around. Angel – now fully clothed, thank god – seized the cap.

Just as Xander thought Angel was going to pounce on Spike, the doorbell rang and they all looked at it.

"I'll get it," Xander said, moving towards the door hastily to avoid Spike and Angel. He opened the door and Oz grinned back at him, a bowl of Pringles in his hand.

"Hey. Heard there was a guy thing going on here. So I brought Pringles." He held up the bowl to illustrate his point.

"There is not a 'guy thing' going on here." Angel said, forgetting the cap and absent mindedly setting it down in the sink once more.

"Oh. Well, mind if I stay anyway? I have balloons!" He pulled out a packet of balloons from his pocket and the other three stared at him.

"How weird is this night turning out to be?" Spike said with a bewildered expression on his face.

"There's a wee moose in there corner!" Came the sudden Scottish voice. It was now Xander's turn to be stared at. "What? I thought I'd make it a little bit more weird..." he shrugged loosely. "Whatever."

Oz settled himself down on the sofa and proceeded to munch on the Pringles. "Hey Xander man, you got any beer?"

"Nope, drank it all. Only coke."

"Coke makes me burp." Angel put in.

That gave Spike an idea. "Let's have a burping competition!" he said excitedly, seizing the coke bottle and taking a big swig.

"Let's not!" Angel replied in the same tone, but Spike let out a loud burp, which drowned out his words.

"Here." Oz extended his arm for the bottle. "Let me try."

Before Angel knew it, a full-scale competition was underway between the other three. He ignored them, blowing up balloons with the balloon pump. It wasn't long before he'd done the whole packet and they were still doing the burping thing. To drown them out, he turned on the music. Then groaned, when he realised it was Busted.

"Wow! Dude mega! I love this!" Oz said, jumping out of his seat and air-guitaring all over the room.

"You know, I think that's the first time I've ever seen Oz get excited over something," Xander commented, watching Oz jump on the last beat of the song.

"YEAH!!" Oz yelled as he landed. Then glanced at the others and seemed to sober up. "Sorry guys... I um, got over excited."

"You can say that again," Angel muttered. He rested his elbow on the table, only it was covered in something sticky. "What's this?"

"Oh! That was me. Candy and peanut butter." Spike grinned. "Try it!" He pushed the tub of peanut butter and the half-eaten candy bar towards Angel who stared at it reproachfully for a couple of seconds.

"It looks disgusting." He said.

"But it's nice! Honestly! Oz, try it!"

Oz dipped the bar in the peanut butter and took a bite. "It tastes kinda funky. Not the bad kinda funky. Funky like a disco."

'Funky like a disco'... 'funky like a disco'... cue, whirling colours and echoing voices

Spike woke up with an odd feeling in his head. A dream. It had been a dream. Well that would explain it then, of course. No wonder all those weird things had happened. I mean, Angel with only socks on... Spike grinned at the memory. No! Bad Spike, bad! He mentally scolded himself. And since when did he like candy and peanut butter? He reached beside his bed where lo and behold, there was a bar of candy and a tub of peanut butter. Curiously, he dipped it in and tasted it for himself.

"'S very...chocolaty."

Hope y'all liked and yes, very random and very crappy, I know.


End file.
